Every time I'm in the UK I ask myself if I can ever live there again. I would like the answer to be Yes. It's the home of all the people I love most, apart from Mr F. It's the place I understand on a level I could never begin to understand the US or Italy. But more and more the answer is No. Here are just three recent, randomly chosen examples why.

An estimated six out of ten geriatric patients in English hospitals go to sleep hungry because there's no protocol in place to ensure they can actually eat or even reach the food that's slung onto their tray and nobody seems to notice when the plate goes back to the kitchen untouched. There used to be people called nursing auxiliaries who kept an eye on things like that. I wonder what became of them? Hell, they're probably down in the hospital mall ordering milk shakes and burgers.

A video made to illustrate our rich cultural heritage and shown to herald preparations for the 2012 Olympics, featured shock-artist Marcus Harvey's famous portrait of child-murderer Myra Hindley. A rare glimpse this because it provoked such fury when it was exhibited in the Royal Academy it's now kept behind glass, I think in County Hall. where presumably it doesn't provoke any reaction at all. I guess the message the Tourist Board intended was 'In London, anything goes.'
I should create my own list of things that might encourage people to visit London. And I will, when I've calmed down. Which I'm not likely to do until Derrick Campbell stops talking crap.

Dr Campbell is chairman of the National Independent Advisory Group on Criminal Use of Firearms and his take on the recent spate of drug-related shootings is that the government is to blame. By reducing funding to community groups, he argues, we are condemning young black males to die. Hunh? Do the pingpong tables need resurfacing?
If that's all it'll take for young black males to shape up, take responsibility for their children and stop playing at gangsters, I say give them the money. New bats even. And while they're waiting for the community centre to pick up the slack in their lives, why don't they get down to the hospital and spoon a bit of fish pie into some poor starving oldster?